Tag Archives: orcs must die

Dieorcblog: Orcs Must Die 2.

Yeah, I’m basically reviewing Orcs Must Die 2 just so that I can do that pun. I have dragooned my regular co-op partner Kenti into helping me out with this one. Say hello, Kenti.

Kenti: Hello there. I play games with other humans.

Hentzau: But only humans. Because you hate computers. You’re a computer…cist.

Kenti: It’s true. Sometimes when my voice synthesizer doesn’t work I refuse to talk to the humans. They must intimate my intent purely from the actions of my on-screen characters. This occasionally makes Hentzau swear and complain about being lonely. (So the plan is working perfectly).

Hentzau: Yes, for my part I don’t hate computers. I just hate you. However, I also hate orcs. Oh, how I hate them.

Kenti: They must die. It is the only way.

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Thoughts: Orcs Must Die.


And die they do; by the hundreds – by the thousands – they trudge slowly into the maw of a nightmarish trap network where they are cut, stabbed, sliced, shot, sprung, burned, bashed, poisoned and drugged. Kobolds try to scurry over and under but get bogged down in treacle-like tar. Ogres attempt to smash their way through only to wander over a trapped floor panel which springs them back to the start of the gauntlet (or, if it’s available, into some acid). And any Gnolls who successfully hunt down their chief tormentor tend to find him standing under a giant swinging mace that inexplicably misses him and gibs them.
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